


Your Reality

by rlndere



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, TobiDei - Freeform, also an au where tobito and deidara were more than just partners in the akatsuki, also it's been a while since i last watched naruto, au where the infinite tsukuyomi actually works, i'm sorry if i get any of the ninja terminology wrong, it's implied that obito n dei were in a relationship, obidei - freeform, oh- spoilers for the gnw arc, or something like that, so yes deidara knew tobi's identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29014017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rlndere/pseuds/rlndere
Summary: In which the Infinite Tsukuyomi works and Obito falls into his desired reality.Or at least, what's supposed to be his desired reality.- TobiDei/ObiDei one-shot
Relationships: Deidara/Tobi (Naruto), Deidara/Uchiha Obito
Kudos: 45





	Your Reality

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this while listening to 505 by the arctic monkeys on repeat, then proceeded to rewrite this a couple of times because i didn't like it. i don't know if this one-shot makes much sense, but i had to get the idea out of my head before i went insane.
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this dumb thing i came up with haha

If he closes his eyes, he can see home.

He can see it clearly, so clearly, it’s like looking through glass straight to the past.

It's black, a hazy shade of grey and now, a newfound white. The colour of snow, the colour of paper, the colour of clouds. A resemblance of purity and innocence. This blank slate symbolizes a new beginning, a fresh start for a new life. A carefully scripted reality where he didn’t go down that corrupt path of destruction. Everything surrounding him is white, but all he can see is never-ending darkness.

The canvas is empty, and Obito feels empty too. He can’t feel himself, and his body won’t respond to his actions. He feels numb to the core. It's as if Obito has hit rock bottom and he's seen rock bottom before, it was love at very first sight. He feels lost, confused and completely fazed. As if everything he's done up to now has meant nothing. It's never been for him, it's for Madara and always has been. Obito can't read his own feelings. He can't tell if he's frustrated, sad or even content in the slightest. He’s never been one to properly grasp onto his emotions, they’ve always been difficult and hard to understand. Maybe he's become the embodiment of nothing, perhaps that's why he can't read his own feelings.

Obito begins to wonder if he's dead but he doesn't remember dying, in fact, he doesn't remember anything. Everything is a blur, he struggles to remember the last thing he saw, heard, and touched. It'd be funny if Obito is dreaming right now. When he wakes up, he would laugh for putting himself in such an absurd scenario. Seconds tick by painfully and Obito is starting to doubt that he's dreaming. What if he is dead? Obito wouldn't mind. It would be nice to see Death knocking at his door with an invitation to his own funeral.

The brush strokes the canvas, dabbing small blotches of colour as it bleeds onto the canvas and awakens something hidden inside his head. He’s not dead, he _can’t_ be. It’s not time for him to die yet, he still has to achieve his goal, his mission. What even is his mission? Obito can’t recall, as if there’s a dam blocking the rushing flood of memories from reaching him. All Obito knows is that he’s puzzled and has no clue of where he is.

From the depths of his mind, he can see the blurry remains of a faint memory. He manages to furrow his eyebrows, focusing on the small vision as it grows into range. Obito can see a village, easily recalling it as Konoha, his home. With this piece of information, he believes he’s managed to recollect a piece of himself. Admittingly, he still feels empty, like he’s only the shell of what’s supposed to be Obito Uchiha.

Sudden realization dawns over him and panic rise within his chest as the memory withers back in the dark. Abruptly, everything is coming back to him at once and it’s too much for Obito to handle. His moments at the academy. His time with Rin. His whole “rival to friends” relationship with Kakashi. His three-man cell with Minato as his sensei. His own death is a blur, so is being saved by Madara and it quickly transitions over to Rin dying before his eyes. Rin dying because of Kakashi.

The thought of it infuriates him because Kakashi swore to protect her, but Obito is too broken to be upset. His mind is more occupied with the thought of death and how he's dying. His own life is flashing before his eyes and there's nothing he can do about it, he isn't in control anymore.

Next comes the second half of his life, the part where Akatsuki is created and how he used them. Obito has to admit, he feels guilty but it's not like he can do anything to fix his mistakes. In a way, everyone in the Akatsuki was like him. They were broken, they were all broken people who once had aspiring dreams. Some, he cared for more than the others, but it all depends on how close he was with certain members. Obito notes to give them an apology once he sees them, or if he sees them. Now, there's the Great Ninja War. Obito can't remember much, and he prefers to keep it that way.

But throughout all this, it leaves Obito to reflect on his past. He really was naive, and maybe still is. He doesn't know if he's at the gates of Heaven or on the highway to Hell, but Obito is glad to die as someone who's found peace within himself.

Obito slowly starts to feel the blood circulating through his body and doesn't feel deprived of chakra anymore. As the blood courses through his veins, he starts to feel each and every part of his body. From every vein and dip of bone, and every wrinkle and pore, he’s getting sewn back together again. It's as if the weight that was weighing him down has been lifted, freeing him from the crushing boulder that was holding him back. He can feel every joint, every muscle and every bone as his heart rate elevates. Obito raises a hand, hearing them crack as he curls it into a fist. He moves it to his chest, placing it on his left to feel his heartbeat.

There's no doubt about it, he's alive.

Obito Uchiha's eyes flutter open, he's in control again. He looks down at his clothes, he's wearing the forest green vest and navy blue attire, the signature Shinobi look for Konoha nin. Obito knits his eyebrows together, glancing up as he examines his surroundings. It’s organic. Tangled in the way of old forests and wild groves, with an air of energy around it. It takes him a moment to process that he’s in Konoha, or at least close-by Konoha, rather than the blasting battlefield. 

The Konoha weather is the same as Obito remembers it to be. The sun dawns over the village, wrapping it in its rays of heat like a hug. It’s the same as he remembers it. The same heat, the same blinding, terrible light. The sense of warmth is almost nostalgic, so Obito relaxes in its beams as the sun acts as a blanket to warm up his soul.

For the first time in forever, Obito feels whole. Inside, he used to feel cold, as if his body were frozen inside an ice cube. No matter how warm it is outside, he could never shake off the chills that would constantly run down his spine. They always manage to freeze his core.

“Obito?”

The voice sounds familiar, reminding him of the first time he’s felt true love. Obito’s head perks up, craning his neck slightly as his eyes fall upon two mature, but recognizable faces. His eyes widen, watching as Rin and Kakashi catch up to him. Their younger selves appear for a split second before fading out like dust. Obito shakes his head and directs his attention to his teammates, now stalking their every move.

“You spaced out just now.”, Rin states. “You okay?”

Obito gives her a skeptical nod, forcing a smile.

“I.. I’m okay.”, he assures them and Kakashi steps up, swinging an arm around his shoulder. The gesture startles Obito, nearly causing him to trip over his own feet but Kakashi is there to catch him.

“That’s good.”, Kakashi says, pulling Obito close and Rin joins the two, clasping her hands together with a warm smile. It’s the same smile that never fails to give Obito butterflies. But these butterflies aren't from the mushy feeling of affection, they're the feeling of butterflies reverting back to fat caterpillars residing in his stomach.

Obito knows this is fake, that none of this can be real. Because he can still recall the incident like it was yesterday. He saw Rin die, he saw Kakashi kill her with his electrifying Chidori and he remembers losing his mind as he saw Rin’s body fall limp. He remembers the stinging feeling of the sky falling, his own world crushing his body as he allows his grief-sticken anger to take control. Watching as the soil beneath him turns to spilled blood. Unfriendly shivers are sent down his spine, Obito shudders just thinking about it.

But he pushes the thoughts to the back of his head, melting in Kakashi's hold. At the same time, this strangely feels like home. Home, like a big bear hug, making one feel wanted. Home, like waking up every morning to breakfast on the table. Home, the comforting feeling like this is how things are meant to be. If home is where the heart is and his heart is next to his friends, then Obito is in the right spot.

It doesn't matter if Obito is delusional, living in a world built on lies. It’s a lie he’s woven for his own comfort. He's happily with Rin and Kakashi, a universe where he's alive, and a universe where Rin isn't dead. A world where the events in his reality never occurred. It puts Obito's mind at ease, his worries and concerns are evaporating instantly. It's his dream world, it's his desired reality. Having Kakashi and Rin to support him is everything Obito has ever wanted.

So Obito remains next to his teammates. Kakashi Hatake - his enemy, teammate, friend, best friend. Rin Nohara - his first friend, best friend, first love, ex-love. They've built a bridge to hold up Obito for the rest of his shinobi days, and he'll support them unconditionally until the day they pass on. 

Rin is as lively as ever. Her hazel eyes glisten under the sun, making them stand out compared to any other kunoichi he's met. It's like she hasn't changed one bit. Obito cherishes their relationship, by now, he understands Rin will never return his feelings for her. He can live with that, there's nothing wrong with loving her as a friend. His heart acknowledges he’s gotten over Rin, but can’t remember how he dismissed his love for her.

Obito looks over to Kakashi, now realizing his hands are back by his side. He's focused on Rin, who is talking about how much she missed spending time with them. The statement is enough to make both of their hearts melt. Obito studies Kakashi carefully, he hasn't changed either. The only difference is that Obito feels he's finally being acknowledged by him. The invisible line, the long-lasting curse, that used to separate them has been lifted.

It makes Obito happy. The world is no longer against him and he's finally free from carrying out orders. The lock from his cage has been unlocked and Obito is soaring freely with the wind. He's not trapped behind those thick bars of manipulation, he's cured and is his own person. Despite his joy, Obito can't help but feel incomplete. He's like a near-perfect puzzle, with only one piece missing. He can't find it here, but Obito doesn't know where he should search.

For now, Obito sides with his friends, enjoying his time with them. He wishes it could be the three of them forever. If he could, he would snap a photo to capture this picture-perfect memory and hang it on his wall.

Obito can describe them and their friendship as pure art, he could paint a galaxy with their traits. He can imagine Rin as his sun because she brings buckets of light and love into his life. Kakashi would be the moon because he’s mysterious, at least, Obito deciphers him to be mysterious and vague. Obito would paint himself as the earth, since Rin and Kakashi orbit around him. It makes him wonder if he relies on the two too much. Not that it matters, spending time with them is all he needs.

Swift footsteps line up with each other, leaving behind prints of dust in the rickety path of sand, the trio walks in silence. Obito doesn’t know what they’re doing, he assumes they’re scouting the area. Kakashi has his nose up in a book, Rin is admiring the same forest they’ve patrolled thousands of times as Obito keeps his eyes straight ahead. He settles in the comfortable silence, stealing glances at the two of them every few seconds. Obito’s ears catch up to the distant sound of footsteps heading in their direction. He can sense large masses of chakra, sending Obito on guard, he's wondering why Kakashi and Rin aren't playing defence.

The group ahead of them comes into vision and Obito has to squint to get a better view. Rin casts a curious glance to Obito, watching as his eyes land on a certain blond. He stops walking, taking a moment to analyze the four ninjas. Judging by their looks, headband specifically, they come from Iwagakure. Kakashi and Rin conclude there's nothing suspicious about that, they heard about Lady Tsunade having visitors. They hope Obito knows that too.

The scenario is different for the Uchiha. His expression is blank, it's neutral and hard to read but his eyes do all the story-telling for him. They're fixed on the nin in the middle, conversing with their sensei. Blond hair, bluebell eyes, mouth on hands and an unforgettable smile. Obito's eyes widen as realization dawns over him, lips perking up at the corners as a soft smile takes his face.

Deidara.

Another sealed memory is unlocked and it might be the last piece to the puzzle Obito is searching for. He thinks he knows Deidara like the back of his hand. The way his face lights up like a saturated sun when he talks about his creations and the way he spills like an overflowing sink when it comes to his impatient temper. From the silky texture of his hair to his explosive love for art to his set of eyes that look like the raging sea. Deidara is the galaxy, sitting among the stars and Obito is simply another planet in the solar system. He can’t compare himself to someone who glitters like gold in the midnight sky.

Deidara is ripped at every edge but he’s a masterpiece, Obito would tell him that whenever he can. Let him be in his Tobi persona, or just as himself. He would always remind Deidara he’s just as beautiful as he makes his art out to be, even if he doesn’t think so himself. Whether it’s in plain sight during missions or when Obito is planting gentle kisses down Deidara’s jawline, he always smuggles in an easy “ _You’re beautiful_ ”. And it never fails to make Deidara smile.

In moments they sit in silence, quiet is violent. Moments where Obito’s skin will scream and where Deidara traces his battle scars with tender fingertips, pulling him close to kiss his pain away. Moments where they share the same grief and try to make it go away. Where dull television static is all they see, their pinkies curl together. Pressed like flowers, they’re fragile. Petals carelessly plucked from the earth, where their touch will soon wither and die.

Obito remembers the day where he withered and when Deidara died, he found love, saw love and love left him in an act of selfishness. An act of destruction. Love left him in an act of art, a play of fleeting suicide. Now, love is back, heading in his direction. Obito prays that Eros has his arrows ready to aim and fire at this new Deidara.

Obito hesitantly raises a hand, his fist clenches open and slowly reaches out for Deidara, pitching out a poor wave. The gesture is lousy, lazily thought of, but it’s easily noticeable. Deidara roams past Obito, he doesn’t do a double-take or dare to look back but continues to walk forward.

The smile falters from Obito’s face, sorrow drills its way to his face and piercing pain nibbles away at his skin. Leaving scars of the past, wounds of lost memories that only Obito can recall. Flashbacks of his time with Deidara blaze and burn his eyes, his shoulders sag down at the sudden discomfort, holding his head with his hand to maintain his balance. He looks back up with dead eyes, eyes stalking Deidara’s moves as he walks away. He’s already lost Deidara once, and he doesn’t want to lose him ever again.

The bliss of a world Obito dreamed of is shattered in an instant. Deidara’s name rings out like a gunshot, like the crack of lightning. The rapid strike of shock trickles down Kakashi and Rin’s spine, both rushing up to comfort him. Rin pitches a worried glance, a hand is held to her chest as she carries her support, wrapping her arms around Obito and presses her body against his back, squeezing him tight. It’s such a monumental thing, it’s only Deidara’s name that causes a tsunami within Obito’s heart.

Deidara pauses, craning his neck to spot a group of three Konoha nin. He furrows his eyes, confused, meeting Obito’s gaze for a second. Deidara pivots his body, hesitantly opening his mouth to speak but decides against it. His attention is dragged away by his black-haired team member, saying something almost teasing and Deidara snaps back at her, drifting further away from the three.

Obito is crying. He never cries, and Deidara knows that. Or at least, the Deidara he _knew_ knows that. Rin’s hug isn’t providing much comfort to him, and neither are Kakashi’s pitiful pats on the back. It’s funny how moments ago, Obito’s heart was as warm as a Summer’s day, where now, he feels nothing but Winter on his hands and ice in his veins.

It’s _supposed_ to be Obito’s dream world, it’s supposed to be _his_ perfect reality. A world where he isn’t dead. A world where Rin isn’t dead. A world where Kakashi acknowledges him. It’s supposed to be his ideal. 

In a universe where Deidara doesn’t remember him, Obito would rather call this illusion of reality a living nightmare.


End file.
